From my first free write on 10-25-2021 at Robin’s workshop. I started with “alchemy of my ancestry” that line came to me before the free write. I’m s till not happy with the ending. Should I end with Alchemy of my ancenstry?
Alchemy
Their stories ring my finger
a shiny band with a diamond set in six prongs,
the gold gleaned from rings inherited
in my Mother’s jewelry box –
Grandmother’s thin band of betrothal,
my Mother’s plain orange blossom ring –
no money for a diamond back then.
Dad’s wedding ring was seldom worn
because he said it caused his finger to itch.
For their 25th he presented her
with a three-quarter carat diamond set in gold.
A peace offering, Mother said, for being
gone on opening day of fishing season
on yet another anniversary.
The inherited rings were too small or too big to be worn.
A jeweler melded them together
in a new design, into new gold,
the peace offering set in the center.
I wear this alchemy of my ancestry
recalling their lives
as stories ring my finger.
11/24/2021 REVISION into a Villanelle. (Drew’s plane is delayed in Dallas, so I had an extra hour. Thought I’d play with this poem. We leave soon for Milw to pick them up. ) I left the villanelle numbered ines in to show the pattern. I still might need to tweak rhythms (beats) of some lines.
Alchemy
1 Nested in my jewelry box are rings of gold
2 a family of wedding rings I’ve inherited
3 each gilded with stories my ancestors told
4 Grandma’s gold band worn thin with time
5 and mothers plain orange blossom ring
1 nested in my jewelry box are rings of gold
6 Dad’s shiny wedding band seldom worn
7 said wedding gold caused his finger to itch
3 That’s one tarnished story my parents told
8 For their 25th dad presented his wife
9 a large sparkly diamond in a new ring
1 nested in my jewelry box is this gem in gold
10 a peace offering, she said, for his being gone
11 on opening day of fishing season
3 for yet another anniversary she told
12 this family of rings each too small or too big
13 was melted, remade, the peace offering set in the center
1 the ring nested on my finger is an alchemy of gold
3 still gilded with stories my ancestors told
ALG
Back to free verse—more tightening, rearranging: as of 12/04/2021
Alchemy
Nestled in my jewelry box are rings of gold,
a family of wedding rings I inherited.
Grandma Mimi’s gold band worn thin
and mother’s orange blossom ring,
dad’s shiny wedding band was seldom worn
said he was allergic to the ring.
For their 25th anniversary dad presented mom
a large sparkly diamond set in a new ring,
a peace offering, she said later just to me
for his being gone again opening day
of fishing on their anniversary.
What to do with this family of rings
nestled in my jewelry box each too small
or too big, gilded with stories they told.
Had them melted, melded, remade
the peace offering set in the center
a bold gold ring now circles my finger
an alchemy of family.
Here’s my latest revision 01-08-2022, I played with allieration some more and changed the ending.
Alchemy
Nestled in my jewelry box are rings of gold,
a family of inherited wedding rings.
Mimi’s gold band worn thin
and mother’s orange blossom ring.
Dad’s shiny wedding band was seldom worn
said he was allergic to the ring and the idea of it.
For their 25th anniversary dad presented mom
with her first diamond in a new ring,
a peace offering, she said (privately, to me)
for his being gone again on opening day
of fishing for their anniversary.
This family of rings, gilded with stories
was nestled in my jewelry box
each one too small or too big to be useful.
I had them melted, melded, made-over
with the peace offering mounted in the middle.
A transformed ring now circles my finger
in an alchemy of family.