I’ve been thinking how lovingly Peter and Carrie interact. Peter has to rely on Carrie; from being a doctor, an ice climber, etc… so independent to being dependent is something he approaches with such humility and dignity. I marvel at how caring Carrie is. I wrote this poem for them, this morning. I have two stanzas that dont’ fit —but are important to the “story” of the poem . I cut it back to what’s below… at the bottom I’ve included the stanzas that don’t fit. I think this needs to be an “in the moment, aka one moment poem.” But I wonder if I have lost the deep significiance of what the moment means.. Does it come through? I need a better last line I think.. I’m thinking on the whole poem…and welcome your suggestions.
What Love Is
She takes his hand in hers
as if on a second date
a moment of affection to the casual eye
as they approach the restaurant.
She whispers there’s a step here –
his toe slides forward
he taps his shoe against the concrete
finds the edge then steps up.
She holds the door open
There’s another edge here, a little one this time –
They order lunch, laugh over
a podcast they listened to yesterday
as his hand slides across the table into hers
head held high.
++++++
other lines that don’t seem to fit “ the moment “ here.
The doctor, the ice climber, the poet and musician,
the woodworker, the stained glass artist
and the nurse, the gourmet caterer, the poet,
and cheerleader of grandchildren in sports.
(I worked in the “podcast” above…but this is more specific, but then it’s yet another moment” )
They share poetry from podcasts
read aloud each morning over coffee
and the scones, oh her scones are so good …..